- 2023-10-19 09:00
Anyone who deals with cats and dogs realises that they can train us to respond appropriately to simple, clear commands. In our family the animals have taught us a lot: the cat has a number of distinct and distinguishable commands for our services.
The cat’s commands
Stroke me.
Produce my tuna.
I see a pigeon out there. Why can't I kill it? Why not? Why not? Why not?
Open the door for me
Turn off the rain; I wish to go out
The house is chilly: light the fire; I wish to recline in front of it
It is bedtime for the male ape. I wish to lie on his chest.
I do not consent to this cat carrier. I DO NOT.
The dog’s commands:
Open the door
Come downstairs.
I will accept a belly rub.
Look! a squirrel! (Squirrel squirrel squirrel squirrel ... SQUIRREL (repeat until rapture) )
I will no longer walk another step.
I'm being good. Where is my cheese?
BONE!!! I have eaten my supper. Where is my bone? Bone now! bone now! ...
The dog is also capable of two way communication. She is a year old now, and the list of distinct commands, or suggestions, that she recognises is surprisingly long. I rank them in order of effectiveness, from those she will almost always obey to those where most of the time she might as well be a cat.
Dog understands.
Stop! (understood she’s while walking or trotting, sometimes while cantering)
Sit!
This Way!
Anni! (Pay attention to the next word: it’s not just burble)
Drop!
Leave!
“Quick-quick!” (Cross the road)
Wait
OK! (as a release word)
Den time (It's bed time. There will be a bribe for a good dog)
Cat-means-Sprat (here is a bribe: now behave yourself and do not bark!)
(the next two because a Finnish Lapphund ought to speak Swedish)
Kom! (sometimes)
Kom Hit! (sometimes)
Paws-on-the-floor! (sometimes)
Down!
Kora! (Japanese for "stop it!")
Inside! (Stop barking in the courtyard)
None of these have any effect when the dog is actively hunting. Then she might as well be a cat1. Also unlike a hunting cat, the dog does check from time to time that we have not got lost, but a quick glance from a distance is enough to reassure her. She feels no need to reassure us that she’s not lost.
For animals, then, we say that emotion overrides the understanding. The dog, or cat, that ignores you is not necessarily hostile. It is just not interested, because it is engaged with something else. Humans are more complicated. We tell stories, and it is these that shape our emotional engagement rather than the other way round. What does not fit the narrative is invisible and inaudible. This has implications for journalism.
You will note that there is no list of commands to which the cat responds.
That’s a beautiful dog. I like a dog who still has a bit of wolfiness (no Dachshunds nor French poodles need apply!…), and I can see the ancestral wolf in her face.
Are we seeing the early signs of your becoming a narrative theologian, Bro?